Just a Touch of Grace

Romans 8:26
So too the [Holy] Spirit comes to our aid and bears us up in our weakness; for we do not know what prayer to offer nor how to offer it worthily as we ought, but the Spirit Himself goes to meet our supplication and pleads in our behalf with unspeakable yearnings and groanings too deep for utterance.

We all experience to some degree and at some level, the density of the material life.  I have a budget to balance in this challenging economy. The weight of financial demands feels unbearably heavy on my shoulders, as I go over my bills and expenses in my head endlessly. It wears me down, it holds a grip on me. Shame and guilt seem to hover over me like dark clouds as I question incisively what it is that I need to learn in order to experience the Unlimited as my reality here and now. I tell myself how I think it is suppose to be, how faith is suppose to work. I recall how easy it seemed a couple of weeks ago, when I felt as if I was soaring on the wings of Spirit over the appearances and circumstances of my life.  What has changed? I have been practicing my meditation daily, I have repeated my affirmations faithfully.  

We have been trained for centuries to rely on our senses for proof of what we can consider to be real. What is verifiable through our physical senses is the truth we can readily accept.  The Scientific Method is still the approach of our Super-conscious, even when, as people of faith, we say we believe in the unseen and in the existence of a metaphysical (beyond the physical) reality. To hold on to beliefs that challenge what our senses are perceiving seems not just supernatural, but unnatural.  Then we think that using the same discipline, consistency and effort will produce the observable results we look for, and that is what has become our so-called "spiritual practice". We just assume we must try harder, and that the absence of observable, predictable results means nothing but failure.

It still amazes me how Spirit pleads on our behalf when me most need it.  While battling the frustration of not being able to find inner silence, struggling to keep my mind still, I heard once again the subtle whisper : "Be gentle, kind and compassionate with yourself".  I am prompted to let go, to surrender, to just STOP trying~ the famous LET IT BE from Mother Mary~ I start to remember what I have already learned: that nothing has truly changed; that, regardless of my momentary emotions and perceptions, Truth can never change or be altered; therefore, my true self can never change or be altered. My spiritual practice does not need to render immediate, visible and perceivable results to be effective. God has nothing to prove, I have nothing to prove. 

As I am writing these declarations, I am again comforted and strengthened. Again, I feel like taking off to my place of communion with Father-Mother God, where I am so inaccessible to all the fuzz and frenzy of humanity.  I start to remember what It is all about and what It is not.  My physicality is but a veil behind which lies the eternal beauty of my only true altar.   We tear the veil of physicality time and time again, to uncover the Light that shines uninterruptedly.  The joy and peace that overtakes me seem so miraculous. I am reminded that all it takes is a single touch of Grace, teamed up with my willingness to stop trying and let go.  Thank You, God.

Romans 9:16
So then [God’s gift] is not a question of human will and human effort, but of God’s mercy. [It depends not on one’s own willingness nor on his strenuous exertion as in running a race, but on God’s having mercy on him.]